J'adore Paris (or something equally sick making)

Yes, Parisians might be a bunch of cold, miserable snobs who are hostile to anyone who speaks English, but that's their problem. It's not our fault that French isn't the international language anymore, is it?

Anyway, where was I? Paris. If you want to make the right impression with your woman, then the right hotel is all important. Hotel Langlois is a charming little hotel in the centre of Paris, which has rooms that by the standards of local hotels are massive, and which are designed in the sort of classy fashion that's surely certain to bring the right mood for lurve. At between €140-€150 for a double room it's a bit pricey, but they do have promotions on so keep 'em peeled. Word to the wise: don't have breakfast at the hotel, it costs €13 and there are loads of very nice cafés around the place that will do something much nicer for loads less.

Once you've got back from Paris and your missus is all happy about you being all caring and that, you can thank me. You'll have at least two months of down the pub time, I can guarantee it.