Take to the skies and land in sun-kissed Cyprus

Good on you, but now you need to get on a plane and actually take a flight there.

Unfortunately the easiest place to fly to from the UK is Paphos, which is a bit of a way from Limassol, and you're much more likely to be in the company of the sort of witless divs who think wolf-whistling at the quite clearly homosexual flight attendant during the safety demonstration is not only mature but also very funny. You know, like how we all were when we were 18.

Anyway, all the best offers are with Easyjet, and they're all pretty expensive. The cheapest I found from Gatwick at relatively short notice (20-23 March) was just under £200 and in the summer they're a bit more; you're probably looking at £350 or so. It's also the same unfortunate story from Manchester as well, but I think that's the price you pay for all this global warming malarkey. Sorry.