Welcome to Miami

The jug-eared has-been wasn't wrong, Miami really is a proper party town; the place is full of strip clubs and night clubs, and its famed for drawing big bad rappers down from the north and the west coast to hang out with large-bosomed models. It's a hard life, eh?

However, MiamiThe Design District is the part of town where aesthetics is king, and you'd better get down on your knees and worship. It is of course, massively poncey and you might well have a fit at how many trendies are iPhonng their way around the place but at least you won't be burying you face in the pillows of stripper. Also, they do nice jazz festival things, and there are always new exhibitions on.

Once you've taken in some civilised cultural brain food, you're allowed to go out and party like you're Big Will in 1999. Welcome to Miami